The Fry Cook Plot

Samaritan Helps Foil Columbine-Style Shooting:

It seems that Long Island has two boys that got the order wrong. You’re supposed to be arrested first then become a fry cook. These boys got it the other way around.

A 15-year-old unnamed minor and 17-year-old Michael McDonough were arrested for plotting an attack on Connetquot High School on Long Island. They both worked at the same McDonalds where a notebook was found attributed to the 15-year-old. An anonymous person found the notebook and turned it into police. McDonough does not attend Connetquot High but the 15-year-old does.

“I will start a chain of terrorism in the world,” the journal read, according to Richard Dormer, the Suffolk County police commissioner, who shared disturbing excerpts at an afternoon press conference.

“Take everyone down, turn the guns on the cop, take out myself,” Dormer read. “Perfecto.”

How original. I have no confirmation that these kids are mutants but I wouldn’t be surprised.

Speaking of unoriginal mutants a search of the 15-year-old’s house turned up a video.

Police said they discovered at least one videotape that featured a close-up of the 15-year-old as he explained what he wanted to do at the school. While he was not carrying any weapon in the footage, Dormer said he was very explicit about the bloodshed he wanted to spark.

“He felt that everyone was against him, the world was against him and he was very upset with life in general and the world in general,” Dormer said.

A search of the kid’s computer turned up that attempts were made to obtain an Uzi and an AK-47.

As of right now, I don’t know what McDonnough’s role is in all of this. So far it sounds like it’s all about the 15-year-old.

Comments

6 responses to “The Fry Cook Plot”

  1. Alyric Avatar
    Alyric

    McDonough working at McDonald’s? There’s a joke in their somewhere.

  2. Trench Avatar

    But like I said, I’m not sure of his involvement yet so I’m holding back on that for now.

  3. Alyric Avatar
    Alyric

    Yup.

    And I meant “there”, not “their”. Damn the inability to edit. And my own lack of sleep. And Canada. And God. Definitely God.

  4. Trench Avatar

    Lack of sleep huh? Don’t go carjacking now. 😛

  5. Alyric Avatar
    Alyric

    I’ve been resisting the urge all day!

  6. Jim Avatar
    Jim

    two things…

    1: that school is so fucking close to where I grew up and where much of my family still lives, it scared the shit out of me to read the name. Connetquot was our rival high school.

    2: I think kids that Mcdonalds workers are more bound to commit crimes, than criminals bound for Mcdonalds… I have never worked at ol micky dees and I broke a law once or twice in my day.

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