TheTrenchcoat Chronicles

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  • Halloween Sunday

    Halloween Sunday

    Halloween on Sunday troubles some Southerners:

    Before I get to the heart of the article, I just wanted to point out one thing. The headline says “southerners” yet at the very end of the article, they quote a police lieutenant from Michigan. I guess they mean south of Canada.

    Anyway, back to the matter at hand.

    Ah, yes. It’s that time of year. The leaves are changing colors. There’s a chill in the air. And all the religious nuts have their holy underwear in a bunch over Halloween. Let’s read some quotes…

    “It’s a day for the good Lord, not for the devil,” said Barbara Braswell, who plans to send her 4-year-old granddaughter Maliyah out trick-or-treating in a princess costume on Saturday instead.

    “You just don’t do it on Sunday,” said Sandra Hulsey of Greenville, Georgia. “That’s Christ’s day. You go to church on Sunday, you don’t go out and celebrate the devil. That’ll confuse a child.”

    Come on people. Get over yourselves already. It’s not “the devil’s day”. If there were any evil connotations to Halloween, it’s long been forgotten. It’s a time for kids to get candy. That’s it.

    Anyone who uses Halloween as an evil holiday is usually a bunch of mutants who think they’re badass or something. Don’t rob your kids of a childhood just because you’re an overzealous wingnut. I’m sure the stories will get more interesting as we get closer to Halloween.

  • Something is Rotten in the State of Mass.

    Something is Rotten in the State of Mass.

    You know, since I’ve reconsidered my stance on the Tobin Kerns incident, I’ve been wondering why the police have yet to move on the friend who lived with the Kernses.

    Well, a commenter tipped me off to the fact that the friend in question is the son of the president of the Boston police union, the Boston Police Patrolman’s Association. Draw your own conclusions.

    If Tobin Kerns turns out to be innocent, I’ll be one of the first ones calling for his release.

  • Trench’s Health Insurance Tips: Pre-Existing Condition

    Trench’s Health Insurance Tips: Pre-Existing Condition

    Today we’re going to discuss pre-existing conditions and how all health insurance companies are run by soulless scum sucking bastards who deserve to rot in hell.

    A pre-existing condition is defined as a recurring condition that you were treated for or diagnosed with 6 months prior to receiving health insurance coverage. That could be anything. It could be something manageable like diabetes or something life-threatening like AIDS or cancer. If you did not have continuous health insurance coverage at that time, the insurance companies will not pay for any treatment related to the condition for 12 months.

    Think about that for a second. You could have cancer and the insurance company would not pay for treatment for a year. A lot of people can’t afford to pay for that kind of treatment, so they might just forego getting treated until the waiting period is up.

    The insurance company is basically hoping that you’ll die before the waiting period expires. What’s worse is the law allows it. In North Carolina and other states, it’s REQUIRED. Why isn’t this practice considered discriminatory? Why isn’t this a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act? How many people have died because of this? Which lawmakers and politicians have blood on their hands?

    And please feel free to post your pre-existing condition horror stories here. Let’s get the word out about this horrific practice.

  • Reasonable Doubt

    Reasonable Doubt

    Toby Kerns: Friends paint different picture of troubled teen:

    Ok, I’ll admit it. I’m man enough to admit when I may have been wrong. I may have jumped the gun a little bit in the case of Toby Kerns. I can see why I did, though.

    In most of the school shooting plots that have been thwarted, like Andrew Osantowski and Matthew Lovett, there’s been little doubt once the suspect has been apprehended. Not so in the Toby Kerns case.

    There seems to be enough speculation in the fact that a friend of Toby Kerns’ was living with the Kernses at the time. A lot of people are saying that this friend is the one actually behind the alleged plot. To me, that is enough doubt to rethink my position on Toby Kerns. And not just because of what the article said, but because there are other articles that have said the exact opposite of what was in this article.

    I also received an e-mail from someone claiming to be close to the Kernses that threw suspicion on this other kid. If the friend was, in fact, behind this, my question would then be, was he actually planning on shooting up the school or was he really trying to frame Toby Kerns?

    Do I think Toby Kerns is completely innocent? Too soon to tell at this point. But I think that there is enough speculation for police to investigate this “friend”. We shall see what develops.

  • The Watchlist: Society Kills

    The Watchlist: Society Kills

    No news tonight, so it’s time for another episode of The Watchlist. To refresh your memory, The Watchlist is a catalog of websites that either praise, worship or sympathize the Columbine killers Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. I download them and save them to not only to let parents, law enforcement, and anyone else know that kids and possibly even adults like this actually exist, but to also serve the mutants a warning that they are being watched.

    Tonight’s Watchlist site brings us this little morsel…

    This is Eric Harris and below, although just as worthy, Dylan Klebold. A few years ago, I’m sure you’ve heard, Martyrs Eric and Dylan went to thier school at columbine and began a killing spree. Sometimes labelled as “evil” or “bad” or “monsters” by a people addicted to myths and lies, they revealed some powerful Truths, both at home and at Columbine. There was absolutely nothing “wrong”, “evil” or “insane” about thier mass murder actions. They were a reflection of Eric and Dylan’s True-Realities, and society has the responsibility on its shoulders.

    On that site, there are similar tributes to Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, The Green River Killer, Timothy McVeigh, and Jeffrey Dahmer. Most with the same running theme that “society” is to blame. I guess we’re supposed to stop society before it kills again.

    They were not martyrs. They were cowards who were responsible for their own actions, but didn’t have the guts to face the consequences.

    Remember, parents, this could be your kid. Hell, it could even be your spouse.

    You have been served noticed. You are being watched.

  • 10/10/04: From The Mail Sack

    10/10/04: From The Mail Sack

    If you’re reading this on Monday morning, please check the weekend’s entries. I had a plethora of news to discuss and with the hosting change, some of you may have missed it.

    Anyway I was hoping I could go two weeks in a row without hate mail but here we are…

    As usual from the entry on the Eric Harris journal…

    😈 Who ever said these people were inocent. I think they deserved what was coming to them. You should have listened. Opened your mind and actually take in what they felt. But as you can see you have not learned your lesson.

    you think they were crazy, maybe they were. Or maybe you created what you saw that day. You should think before you do or say because it might affect someone in a way you may regret.

    Comment by Cyrus — Wednesday Oct 6, 2004 @ 8:34 am

    They were innocent. Most of the people killed had no contact with the two scumbags, Harris and Klebold, at all. They killed random people in cold blood like two little cowards. The only people who created what happened that day were the two scumbags themselves. People are responsible for their own actions. Even two cowards that are burning in hell.

    Again from the same entry as usual…

    They weren’t cowards, not by along way. They shot a bunch of people and then themselves. Seen the suicide pictures? They ain’t pretty. To the person who said that they never let the bulling get to them. You probably had friends the same as you. Eric and Dylan had barely any friends. They weren’t even in the trenchcoat mafia.They were outcasts among the outkasts.

    I respect them for going through with it. I’ve thought about it a lot but obviously never did it.

    Yeah, people got killed, but it couldn’t be helped. If Dylan and Eric hadn’t done it, someone would have. And some people copied them.

    They weren’t sick fucks. They just couldn’t go on with their shit life and wanted revenge.

    RIP Harris and Klebold.

    Comment by Aine — Sunday Oct 10, 2004 @ 5:04 pm

    Yes, they were cowards. When you shoot 13 unarmed people who had nothing to do with you, it is an act of cowardice. When you take your own life rather than facing the consequences of your actions, it’s an act of cowardice.

    It could have been prevented in so many ways that have been documented here before so many times I won’t even get into it. They were sick fucks. Two of the sickest fucks that ever spilled forth from a mother’s womb. There’s only one type of person that’s almost as sick. Little snively mutants like yourselves whose parents obviously don’t care about you, who look up to those scumbags as heroes. I pity you. Really.

  • More from Marshfield

    More from Marshfield

    We have much more news from Marshfield. The high school where Toby Kerns had planned on going on a killing spree…

    Toby’s dad, Ben Kerns, is claiming that another student is also involved. I also received a comment from someone who claims to go to Marshfield high who said there are four others possibly having charges against them.

    The article also states that Kerns had planned his spree to mark the 5th anniversary of Columbine. As we all know, that would have been this past April. I believe they mean the 6th anniversary. The article also states that many Marshfield students don’t believe Kerns was the only suspect.

    The Boston Herald conflicts itself. In one article, they say that students support Kerns. In the other students who were targeted by Kerns are not surprised…

    “He gives off this really creepy vibe,” said David McGrath, a former student who was allegedly targeted by Kerns. “He stared at me in the halls and gave me weird looks. He’s almost the stereotype of someone who would do this.”

    Another tidbit from the same article…

    Kerns, described as a goth who was hospitalized last summer after he threatened to commit suicide, was hanging around with swastika-toting teens who called themselves the “Natural Born Killers.”

    Sounds like he was part of a group of Harris and Klebold worshiping mutants.

    Ben Kerns is also putting the blame on the abuse Toby suffered at the hands of his mother as the outlying cause of his behavior. I sympathize for Toby for any abuse he may have suffered, but the bottom line is there is no excuse for plotting to kill people. Listen to your Uncle Trench kids. It’s just high school. In 4 years, it’s over. Living well really is the best revenge.

    If you kill someone or kill yourself, then you’ve let them win. Be bigger than they are. Then after high school, you can look back at what pricks they were that probably still have a high school mentality or forget about it completely.

    Wouldn’t you rather have that than being dead or in prison? It’s not worth it. And parents, keep an eye on your kids. Put a stop to it before the police come bashing down your door. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy. If more parents disciplined their kids more, we wouldn’t have these problems.

  • Grand Theft Assclown III

    Grand Theft Assclown III

    US lawyer links video game to murder plot:

    I’ve been telling you lately about the school attack plot that was uncovered in Massachusetts. Well, from out of left field comes Miami ambulance chaser, Jack Thompson. He believes that the video game Grand Theft Auto influenced Tobin Kerns into wanting to shoot up his school.

    This isn’t the first time that Jack Thompson has said this. Last year he sued the makers of GTA because of two idiot teenagers that shot at some cars on a Tennessee highway. Never mind that the parents of all kids involved let them play a game that is obviously meant for more mature audiences. That “M” on the box actually means something.

    Anyway, this is a ludicrous statement at best. In Tennessee, the parents left their guns unlocked. In Mass. the parents didn’t keep a close enough eye on their kid. A video game is not to blame. Personally, it sounds like to me that Jack Thompson either A. can’t beat the game so he’s decided to sue, or B. much like in real life, he can’t figure out how to get the hookers to get into his car with him.

    If any lawsuit against Rockstar Games is ever successful, it’s another deathblow to personal responsibility. And I don’t think it could take anymore.

  • Mass. Plot Thwarted

    Mass. Plot Thwarted

    Columbine-Style Murder Plot Foiled On South Shore:

    We have another plot that was thwarted today. This time in Massachusetts. A 16-year-old boy from Marshfield High School was planning a Columbine-style attack on his school in April 2005. I wonder which specific date he had set. Any guesses?

    He had plans of the school, including which doors were padlocked and the locations of the gas lines. The kid also manufactured and tested homemade bombs. A “shopping list” of guns, ammunition and bomb-making materials were also found at the boy’s home. Police also found the always required “hit list”. No motive has been given yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a mutant worshiper.

    So, are we ready for the question that begs to be asked every time something like this happens? C’mon kids. Say it with Uncle Trench. Where the hell were the parents? Someone give me an answer, please. I’d really like to know. And of course, we have to repeat the new mantra here at The Trench Reynolds Report, If you think that this could never happen with your kid, think again.

  • Live Long and Protest

    Live Long and Protest

    If I had the time and resources and if I were a total geek, I would make one of the greatest satire sites ever, if it hasn’t already been done. I would take a Star Trek slant on the current war on terror.

    There would be Intergalactic A.N.S.W.E.R. who would try to tell us that the Romulans are just a poor and oppressed people. EngageOn.org, who would say that we have no business being in the Neutral Zone and accuse the current President of the United Federation Of Planets of being controlled by a Ferengi dilithium crystal mining company.

    And my personal favorite, “Shuttle Captains for the Truth”. A previously unheard of ensign actually survives an away mission. He receives a commendation for being injured in battle, but the truth is he just scratched himself with his communicator. When he’s discharged from Star Fleet after only three months, he speaks out at several rallies in favor of the Borg. Then years later, he tries running for President of the Federation, claiming he singlehandedly defeated the Borg.