Category: Personal

I present to you for the 7th year in a row the 2007 Trenchie Awards.

Best Movie: I really didn’t make it to the theater this year, so I’m going by the DVDs I rented this year that were actually 2006 movies. And the winner is Children of Men. That movie had me on the edge of my um…couch through the entire movie.

Worst Movie: Following the 2006 DVD principle, the loser is Superman Returns. Brandon Routh was ok as Superman. Kate Bosworth sucked as Lois Lane. Not to mention there wasn’t enough actual Superman. Next time, less talking and more of Superman smashing stuff.

Best Album: This was a phenomenal year for albums. We had The Dio Years by Black Sabbath, Dead Again by Type O Negative, and United Abominations by Megadeth. However, the album that got the most play time in My Zen was Framing Armageddon by Iced Earth. It’s a shame that IE let Ripper Owens go. No offense to Matt Barlow, but Ripper rules.

Worst Album: Black Rain by Ozzy. No question. It’s like your grandfather trying to act cool.

Best TV Show: Burn Notice. Again, this was the only show that I made sure I was in front of the TV when it was on. Heroes lost out because of their crappy second season. But it wasn’t the worst show. That distinction goes to…

Worst TV Show: 24. Yeah, you heard me. I brought its jersey back from retirement so I could burn it. I stopped watching once they found the nukes because I could not have cared less about Jack getting Audrey back.

Best Wrestling Moment: A rather lackluster year, but I have to give it to the return of Y2J. I was hoping he would go to TNA, but Jericho on WWE is better than no Jericho at all.

Worst Wrestling Moment: Chris Benoit.

Best Video game: I only bought games for the DS this year. I’m staying away from the next-gen consoles until the prices go way down. And it’s a tie between Puzzle Quest and Front Mission. Both kept me within arm’s length to my DS all year.

Worst Video game: Final Fantasy XII. Too long and too boring.

Dumbass of 2007: Ron Paul supporters. Y’all are a whole bag of crazy.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2007: All those like the Rev. Al Sharpton who are trying to get the kidnapping and torture of Megan Williams changed to a hate crime. Ms. Williams was dating one of her captors. Not only that, but the scumbags that did that to her will get more time on the kidnapping charge then they would on a hate crime charge.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2006: Natalie Maines. She jumped on the West Memphis 3 bandwagon to support 3 convicted killers after watching the heavily biased Paradise Lost ‘documentaries’.

Have a safe and happy Amateur’s Night and hopefully will do this again next year.

Back by popular demand, mostly from my wife again, I present to you the 2006 Trenchie Awards.

Best Movie: Clerks II. I went into this movie with low expectations, but I was extremely surprised by how good it was. I may even dare to say that it’s better than the original, but I know that’s heresy.

Worst Movie: Since Clerks II was basically the only movie I saw this year, I defer to my wife for this category, and she says that the worst movie of 2006 was a straight to video horror abomination called The Graveyard. When I asked what was wrong with the movie, she said, “Name it and that’s what’s wrong with it.”

Best Album: No album kicked as much ass this year as the self-titled album from Ripper Owen’s solo project Beyond Fear. Honorable mention goes to Dio’s Holy Diver Live.

Worst Album: You’d have to try really hard to have a worse album than the disappointing Operation: Mindcrime II by Queensryche. And Iron Maiden did. A Matter of Life and Death has no good songs whatsoever. It should be called A Matter of Suck and Blow.

Best TV Show: Heroes. It was the one show I made sure that I was home to watch. House had a few missable episodes. If you’re wondering why not 24, it’s because 24’s jersey has been retired to let others have a chance.

Worst TV Show: CSI. I got hooked on it last season due to my abandonment of Law & Order. Last season was interesting and kept me glued to my seat. This season was boring at best.

Best Wrestling Moment: I haven’t actually watched a lot of wrestling this year. I mostly only watch TNA. In my opinion, it’s the closest they can get to the original ECW. Anyway, the best moment of the year was when Kurt Angle came to TNA and headbutted Samoa Joe.

Worst Wrestling Moment: WWE’s continued defiling of Eddie Guererro’s corpse.

Best Videogame: Suikoden V. A little slow in starting, but once it got underway it had me hooked. The fishing minigame is addictive as hell. The best one since II.

Worst Videogame: Final Fantasy III. Not a horrible game, but as with most games, it didn’t live up to the hype and wasn’t worth the 15-year wait.

Dumbass of 2006: All the dumbasses that committed various crimes to get their hands on a PS3. Get a life, people.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2006: The Wrong Reverend Fred Phelps who in just one of his may asshatted statements of 2006 said after the Amish school shooting in Pennsylvania his “church” planned to protest the Amish girls’ funerals saying that the Amish “don’t serve God, they serve themselves.”

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2006: The skank party crew of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears. ‘Nuff said.

That’s it for 2006. I hope to see you here again next year for 2007.

I wasn’t going to do one this year since the site has become more focused in its subject matter, but by popular demand I bring to you the 5th annual Trenchie awards.

Best Movie I saw in 2005: Without a doubt, it has to be Sin City, which will probably cause at least one person to stop reading my site. It was the only movie that actually got me out of the house to go see a movie in the theaters.

Worst Movie I saw in 2005: Strawberry Estates. This was an independent horror film that was absolutely painful to watch. It looks like it was filmed by 13-year-olds with their parents’ video camera. It introduced me to the evil That is Ron Bonk. Jade’s honorable mention was the remake of the Amityville Horror. She said no matter how many times Ryan Reynolds takes off his shirt, she still couldn’t watch that movie all the way through.

Best Album of 2005: Advance and Vanquish by 3 Inches of Blood. This actually came out in late 2004, but 2005 was not a good year in albums for me and I bought it in 2005, and it’s the album I listened to most in 2005. If you like old school metal like Manowar, you’ll like 3 Inches of Blood.

Worst Album of 2005: Angel of Retribution by Judas Priest. Maybe there was too much hype leading up to the release of the album where Rob Halford was reunited with Judas Priest, but it was definitely a disappointment. Only two good songs from what should have been the Album of the Year was disappointing.

Best TV Show of 2005: House. Duh. Honorable mention goes to Bones and How I Met Your Mother.

Worst TV Show of 2005: Law and Order. The entire franchise. I never liked CI. Regular L&O has gone seriously downhill since Jerry Orbach died. And SVU has been having these inane shows that start off with SVU type crimes and go off into these weird liberal preachy tangents that have nothing to do with SVU crimes.

Best Wrestling Moment of 2005: The Night Matt Hardy returned unexpectedly to the WWE to attack Edge. Too bad they screwed up the development of the angle from there on out.

Worst Wrestling Moment of 2005: The death of Eddie Guererro. Vaya Con Dios.

Best Video game of 2005: Suikoden Tactics. A strategy game from the makers of the RPG series. It kept me addicted for weeks.

Worst Video game of 2005: Suikoden IV. I’m a huge fan of the series but unless you’re using a cheat disc like Codebreaker, this game was painful to play.

Dumbass of 2005: All the people who rushed to the gas pumps in the wake of Hurricane Katrina due to fears of a gas crisis. Thanks to you, we actually had a gas crisis for a while.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2005: All the “Free Tookie” idiots.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2005: Like there was any doubt on this one. Between the couch jumping and the personal attack on psychiatry and Brooke Shields, it has to go to Tom Cruise.

That’s it for 2005 kids. Who knows if there will be a 6th annual awards entry.