TheTrenchcoat Chronicles

Category: News

  • Eddie Guerrero found dead

    eddiegurreroWWE Wrestler found dead in Minneapolis:

    World Wrestling Entertainment wrestler Eddie Guerrero was found dead in his hotel room in Minneapolis, the organization said Sunday.

    Guerrero, 38, was found at the Marriott City Center in downtown Minneapolis. He was in town for Sunday night’s “WWE Supershow” TV taping at Target Center.

    Police were called to the hotel just after 7:30 a.m. and attempts were made to revive the wrestler, Minneapolis Police Department spokesperson Ron Reier said.

    The Hennepin County Medical Examiner was at the hotel. Additional information on Guerrero’s death was not immediately available.

    If you ever wanted to see Eddie wrestle at his best try to find tapes of the matches he had with Dean Malenko back in their ECW days.

    Eddie had battled drug and alcohol addiction before in his life. In recent years he had “turned his life over to the Lord” as they say. I hope to God that his death wasn’t drug-related.

    My thoughts and prayers go out to the friends and family of Eddie Guerrero. He will be missed.

  • Gas Panic

    Gas Panic

    This is the first time and last time you’ll see me talking about gas prices, unless to tell you what some assclown did because of it.

    Now I’m sure this is going on all over the south tonight, but I specifically want to address the people of Charlotte, NC and the surrounding areas who rushed to the gas pumps today because of the downed pipelines in Louisiana…

    *ahem*

    You’re all a bunch of fucking idiots.

    You all panicked, thinking the area was going to run out of gas. So what do you do? You rush to the gas pumps to quicken the depletion. Did you ever think to conserve gas? How about driving less? Maybe not using your car’s air conditioner. No, you didn’t. You bought into the fucking hype. And I really wonder how many of you had an actual urgent need for gas and how many of you still had 3/4 of a tank.

    If Charlotte runs out of gas, it’s your fault.

    Assclowns.

  • Panzerfaust ist nicht mehr

    Panzerfaust ist nicht mehr

    Supremacists Split After Race Allegation:

    Panzerfaust Records is no more. I first told you about the white supremacist record company here.

    For those of you who don’t remember, Panzerfaust tried distributing their racist music free to schoolchildren in something called “Project Schoolyard” in order to recruit new members to the White Trash…I mean White Supremacy movement.

    Well, in a delicious turn of irony that would make Alanis Morissette crap her pants, Panzerfaust has closed over a dispute between two of its owners over racial heritage.

    One of the owners, Byron Calvert, accused the other, Anthony A. Pierpont, of having a Mexican mother and having sex with Thai prostitutes.

    Calvert wanted the Pierpont to take a DNA test, I’m guessing to prove his “racial purity”. Pierpont refused, and Calvert closed the company.

    Maybe this is a sign of things to come and all the racist scumbags will take each other out. We can only hope.

  • Goodbye, Johnny

    Goodbye, Johnny

    Johnny Carson, late-night TV legend, dies at 79:

    Another one of the icons of my childhood passed away today. As we all know by now, Johnny Carson died today.

    When I was a kid, one of the biggest treats in the world was staying up late to watch The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. It meant either we didn’t have school the next day or we were getting away with staying up late.

    Not to mention, one of the funniest jokes I ever heard was from Johnny Carson. He was doing his Carnac bit and the answer was “Sis Boom Bah”. The question was, “What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?” I don’t think I ever laughed that hard in my entire life.

    My prayers and condolences go out to his family and friends.

  • Poe Toaster Strikes Again

    Poe Toaster Strikes Again

    Mystery fan marks Poe’s birthday:


    Dammit. I missed it again. One of these days I’m going to get to Baltimore to see the Poe Toaster. I am glad that I didn’t go this year. It sounds like a couple of assclowns can’t play by the rules. For one day out of the year, this guy (or guys) get to be Batman, Darkman, and The Crow all into one. Respect the guy’s wishes and family tradition. Let him pass. Don’t try to reveal his identity. There are not a whole lot of mysteries left in the world. Leave this one alone.

  • Veteran’s Stadium R.I.P.

    Veteran’s Stadium R.I.P.

    They blew up Veteran’s Stadium in Philly yesterday. Well, since it was an implosion, I guess they blew it in.

    Anyway, I am sad to see it go. As a stadium, it sucked ass, but I have a lot of great memories there.

    The first time I remember going there was a hot day in August when my Dad took me to see the Eagles play the L.A. Rams. The place was packed, and it actually shook from the crowd noise.

    It was the place where I got to meet Tex Schramm. It was the place where either the pre-season before or the pre-season after I got to meet THE Pittsburgh Steelers before they won their last Super Bowl. I got the autographs of Terry Bradshaw, Mean Joe Greene, and most importantly, I got to meet one of my heroes in Rocky Bleier.

    It wasn’t all football, either. My dad took me to see a lot of Phillies game there. I got to see such greats as Mike Schmidt, Larry Bowa, Steve Carlton, just to name a few. I also remember the lesser guys of the team like Manny Trillo, Greg Luzinski, and Bake McBride. I also got to witness Pete Rose both as a Phillie and a Red.

    As a stadium, it was a hole, and I’m kind of glad it’s gone, but I’ll always remember it as one of the few places where I actually have fond memories of spending time with my father.

    Vaya con Dios.

  • Poe is still dead…forevermore

    Poe is still dead…forevermore

    Man Reluctantly Leaves French Cognac To Toast Poe:

    Dammit to hell. I missed it again. One of these years, hopefully before I die, I will go to Poe’s grave to see the mysterious stranger.

  • Road Warrior Hawk Dies at 46

    Road Warrior Hawk Dies at 46

    Road Warrior Hawk dies at age 46 at home in his sleep:

    To me, the Road Warriors were the greatest wrestling tag team of all time. They were the only tag team to hold the AWA, NWA, and WWF tag titles. Some of you may also know them as L.O.D.

    When I saw them on TV as a kid, they were the coolest. They came down to the ring with their faces painted, with shoulder pads that had spikes all over them, and their entrance music was Black Sabbath’s, Iron Man. Back then, it didn’t get much cooler than that.

    The cause of death has not been determined at this time. I seriously hope it wasn’t anything related to drugs. You hate to see your heroes end up that way. First Stu Hart and now Hawk. I hope wrestling isn’t like Hollywood and we get a 3rd.

    Hawk’s real name was Mike Hegstrand. My prayers and condolences go out to the Hegstrand family and friends.

  • Tex Schramm

    Tex Schramm

    Former Cowboys GM Schramm dies:

    I hate the Dallas Cowboys. I always have and always will. Except for one.

    When I was a little kid, my dad used to take me to Philadelphia Eagles games all the time. Well, in one bitter Philly December, he took me to see the Eagles play the Cowboys. My dad knew someone in Vet Stadium security, so we used to get into the boxes but not the private heated ones.

    It was so cold that day, I felt like I was getting frostbite. My dad asked his friend in security to take me to someplace warm. He takes me to the box next door, which was heated.

    Now, my dad dressed me in head to toe Eagles’ green. Everyone in the box was in blue and silver. I didn’t care because I was warm. My dad’s friend took me down to an empty seat and asked the guy sitting next to it if it was ok if I sat there. The man said it was fine. Nicest guy I had ever met in my short life. He let me wear his gloves and got me some hot chocolate.

    The Eagles lost that day. So after the game, my dad came and got me and the man sitting next to me told my dad that he had a really nice boy here. My dad’s jaw dropped open, but he said thank you. After he left, my dad said, “Do you know who that was?”. I said yeah, that was Mr. Schramm. He was really nice to me. My dad said, “That was Tex Schramm, President of the Dallas Cowboys”.

    I’ve never forgotten that day. Thank you, Mr. Schramm, for showing a very cold Eagles fan (at the time) your generosity.

    My condolences go out to the Schramm family.

  • Mr. Rogers 1928-2003

    Mr. Rogers 1928-2003

    Fred Rogers dead at 74:

    It’s hard to believe he’s gone. Some things you just think will be around forever. He may have been too sappy for some, but there was a time when I was really young that Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers Neighborhood were my universes.

    Who can forget the Trolley and King Friday XIII and Speedy Delivery? Fred Rogers wasn’t just a TV show host, either. He was a well-rounded and learned individual in the field of child welfare. And how many of us have started singing the song when we were either changing shoes or putting on a sweater?

    Now cancer has taken him away from us and from the children. The way things are today, we could really use him. Today, the neighborhood will never be the same.

    My thoughts and prayers go out to the Rogers family and all of those who grew up with him.