If you’re into Heaven and Hell movies like I am, I recommend The Order with Heath Ledger. Not as good as Stigmata but worth a rental. I even want it for my collection.
Category: Entertainment
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The 2003 Trenchie Awards
To close out the year that sucked much ass, I bring you the 3rd annual Trenchie awards. Pickings were slim this year as I didn’t do a whole lot this year. So let’s get this over with.
Best Move I’ve Seen This Year: Not a banner year for movies as I’m not a LOTR geek, but I’ll have to give it to 28 Days Later. A nice little twist on the zombie/apocalypse theme.
Worst Movie I’ve Seen This Year: Highlander: Endgame. You do not kill Connor MacLeod. He is THE Highlander. Blasphemers.
Best Album of the Year: Life is Killing Me by Type O Negative. I think that’s the best album title ever. Strong album too. A healthy mix of the previous 4 albums.
Worst Album of the Year: Dance of Death by Iron Maiden. Lame title. Lame cover. Lame album. And I’m a huge Maiden fan. A big disappointment considering how much I liked Brave New World.
Best TV Show of the Year: 24. Duh.
Worst TV Show of the Year: The Simple Life. Reality shows suck in general, but does anyone really give a rats ass about these two skanks if their clothes are on?
Best Wrestling Moment of the Year: When the ring collapsed after Brock Lesnar superplexed The Big Show. Total holy shit moment.
Worst Wrestling Moment of the Year: When Kane attached jumper cables to Shane O Mac’s balls. I can only suspend my belief in reality for so much.
Best Video Game of the Year: While other people were shooting up Vice City, I was destroying a major Japanese city in Robotic Alchemic Drive by Enix. I mean, what’s cooler than giant transforming robots destroying cities while they fight each other? It’s a hard game to find, so pick it up if you see it.
Worst Video Game of the Year: Simpson’s Skateboarding. Another failed attempt in the long line of sucky Simpsons games. Tony Hawk, it ain’t.
Best Movie Line of the Year: No winner this year. Nothing sticks out in my head as I write this, plus I didn’t see a whole lot of movies this year. Unless you count the beginning of 28 Days Later, when they were experimenting on the monkey and were making it watch violent television while keeping its eyes pried open. I turned to my wife and said…”Heh…Clockwork Banana.”
Biggest Dumbass of the Year: War protesters. Get a job, you filthy hippies.
Most Inane Political Agenda of the Year: After missing the mark in 2002 PETA is back in 2003 with PETA complaining that Arab terrorists were using donkeys to deliver suicide bombs. They didn’t care about the people being killed, just the donkeys.
Biggest Jackass Celebrity of the Year: So many to choose from this year. With Natalie Maines and Jeneane Garafolo coming in a close second, but no one can even touch the jackassery that is Michael Moore. His offenses are too numerous to even try to list here.
Happy New Year, everyone. I’m off to see the possum drop.
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Road Warrior Hawk Dies at 46
Road Warrior Hawk dies at age 46 at home in his sleep:
To me, the Road Warriors were the greatest wrestling tag team of all time. They were the only tag team to hold the AWA, NWA, and WWF tag titles. Some of you may also know them as L.O.D.
When I saw them on TV as a kid, they were the coolest. They came down to the ring with their faces painted, with shoulder pads that had spikes all over them, and their entrance music was Black Sabbath’s, Iron Man. Back then, it didn’t get much cooler than that.
The cause of death has not been determined at this time. I seriously hope it wasn’t anything related to drugs. You hate to see your heroes end up that way. First Stu Hart and now Hawk. I hope wrestling isn’t like Hollywood and we get a 3rd.
Hawk’s real name was Mike Hegstrand. My prayers and condolences go out to the Hegstrand family and friends.
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Wrestler wins election and it’s not Jesse Ventura
You gotta love Japan. The Great Sasuke won a seat in the Iwate Prefectural Assembly. I’m not sure how that equates in American terms, whether that’s the equivalent of Congress or just a state senate. Anyway, I think this is so cool. Not only is Sasuke in incredible wrestler, but he ran for office with his mask still on….and won. And he still says that he’s not going to take his mask off, even when the assembly is in session. How cool is that? Sometimes I wish life was more like professional wrestling. Mad at your boss? Hit him with a folding chair. Anyway, Sasuke is not the first pro wrestler to be in Japanese politics. If memory serves me correctly, Japanese legend Antonio Inoki was elected to a major office in Japan.
I hope this starts a trend in America. Just think of it. Rey Mysterio and the Hurricane in ’04. I’d vote for them.
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Mr. Not So Perfect
Medical Examiner: Cocaine Killed Professional Wrestler Curt Hennig:
I’m not surprised, just disappointed.
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The Perfect Memorial
“Mr. Perfect ” Curt Hennig found dead:
I’ve been watching Curt Hennig wrestle since his last days in the AWA. I remember him teaming with Scott Hall before he became Razor Ramon. Then he came to the WWF as a heel, calling himself Mr. Perfect. That’s when I started rooting for bad guys.
One of the greatest matches I ever saw was at King of The Ring. I believe it was the final round match. It was Curt Hennig vs. Bret “The Hitman” Hart. This match blew away almost every match I had seen until then. As a matter of fact, I was watching that PPV with my then-girlfriend. She kept rooting for Bret Hart so much that I eventually had to put her in The Sharpshooter. She was a little too plump for the Perfectplex.
I even got to see him live at a couple of house shows in Philly. Not only was he phenomenal on TV, but he was even better live. I don’t remember who he wrestled. That’s how good he was.
But the unfortunate thing in all this was there were rumors that Curt Hennig partied hard. It was alleged that his partying was what led to his being released by the WWE this past year. I seriously hope that’s not what caused his death, but I’ll be surprised if it’s not. He also left behind a wife and children. My condolences go out to the Hennig family.
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The 2002 Trenchie Awards.
That’s right kids, it’s time for the 2nd Annual Trenchie Awards. The best and worst of my year, as voted for by me. Last year’s winners will be listed after each category.
Best Movie of the Year: Gotta go with “The Ring”. It seriously creeped me out. It also might have had something to do with seeing it at a drive-through at night in Deliverance County. Honorable Mention: Red Dragon.
(2001 Winner: Stigmata)Worst Movie of The Year: “Insomnia” wins hands down. Like I said on my message board this movie was so boring it should have been called “The Cure for Insomnia”
(2001 Winner: American Psycho)Best Album of The Year: “Killing the Dragon” by Dio. Just as good as his early solo stuff. Honorable Mention: “Happenstance” by Fozzy.
(2001 Winner: Horror Show by Iced Earth)Worst Album of The Year: Geoff Tate’s solo album. No offense Geoff but stick to Queensryche.
(2001 Winner: Stronger than Death by Black Label Society)Best TV Show of The Year: “24” wins hands down. Either season.
(2001 Winner: Murder in Small Town X)Worst TV Show of the Year: Scraping the bottom of the barrel for this one because it really wasn’t that bad a year for TV. But I gotta go with “Ultraman Tiga” on Fox Kids. When I heard a new Ultraman show was coming to the States I was psyched because I loved watching the original Ultraman when I was a kid. The new one just plain sucks. It’s still Japanese actors dubbed in English, but they made the dialogue into comedy, and it wasn’t funny at all.
(2001 Winner: The Joan Cusack Show)Best Wrestling Moment/Match of the Year: Tommy Dreamer vs. Rob Van Dam to unify the Hardcore and Intercontinental titles. I was sad to see the HC title go, but I’m an old ECW fan from back in the day, and this was a great match that almost rose to ECW standards.
(2001 Winner: Chris Jericho wins Undisputed Title)Worst Wrestling Moment/Match of the Year: Do I even need to say it?? Triple H getting it on with a “corpse” while disguised as Kane.
(2001 Winner: Having to see Chris Jericho in a Speedo)Best Video Game of the Year: A late entrant this year but the winner is Suikoden III. I have been obsessed with this Japanese RPG since I got it. Final Fantasy X was really good, but it was a little easy.
(2001 Winner: Twisted Metal Black)Worst Video Game of The Year: Way of the Samurai. Avoid this game at all cost.
(2001 Winner: Simpson’s Wrestling)Best Movie Line of the Year: John Ratzenberger as The Abominable Snowman in “Monsters Inc.” “He made himself a diaper out of poison ivy, wore it on his head like a tiara and called himself King Itchy.”
(2001 Winner: Lou Diamond Phillips in Bats. “Don’t tell me I’m up to my chest in bat shit.”)Biggest Dumbass of the Year: We have a repeat winner. For the second Year in a row is Charlotte radio station WXRC 95.7’s station Manager Dave Ligafelt. First, he changed the format from the only hard rock station in town to another classic rock station. This year he changed the format to 60s and 70s and called it “The Ride”. Thanks for disappointing metal fans for two years in a row.
(2001 Winner: WXRC Station Manager Dave Ligafelt)Most Inane Political Agenda of the Year: We had a lot to choose from this year. But the winner has to be easily offended California Atheist possible communist Micheal Newdow. You remember him. He was the guy who said his daughter was offended by “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance and got it declared unconstitutional by the 9th Circuit Court. Turned out his daughter was a practicing Christian.
(2001 Winner: (tie) PETA for trying to get the USC Gamecocks to change their name and a Pennsylvania judge for overturning Mumia Abu Jamal’s death sentence.)Biggest Jackass Celebrity of the Year: Sean Penn for being Mr. Pacifist all of a sudden and saying that violence is not the answer with Iraq. This from the guy who punches out photographers for fun.
(2001 Winner: Rage Against the Machine)Don’t drink and drive tonight, and I’ll see you next year.
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Video game violence…again
Sounding the alarm on video game ratings:
It seems that our good friend Senator Joe Lieberman has his panties in a bunch about video game violence again. He even admits that the ultra-violent, sexual laden video games are a minority of the products out there.
According to the article, Lieberman said a new round of congressional hearings may be necessary to raise parental awareness of the issue. Why would there need to be congressional hearings to raise parental awareness?
The video game industry has the right to make whatever game they want. It’s up to the parents to be informed of what content is in their kids’ video games. For example, my 15-year-old son is begging me to let him play Grand Theft Auto 3. But, being the excellent parent that I am, know that in GTA3 you can have sex with a hooker and then beat her up to get your money back. That game has no chance in hell of ever being in my house. But Senator Joe thinks that Congress needs to inform parents of the violence in video games. Like congress doesn’t have other things to worry about.
Personally, I think M rated games should not even be sold to anyone under 17, but parents need to take the responsibility to know what games their kids are playing. Yet, as we all know, no one is responsible for their own actions anymore.
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Meet the new boss…
The Good news is Gore isn’t going to run in 2004. The bad news is Lieberman might. To me, there really is no difference between the two. They’re both about censorship. Think about it. Al’s wife Tipper was all about censoring music with the PMRC back in the 80s. Al was 100% behind her.
When Gore was running in 2000 he constantly spoke about how the entertainment industry needs to tone things down or face government reprisal. Yet, he took most of his campaign money from Hollywood bigwigs.
Lieberman is a member of the PTC. A group with similar goals to that of the PMRC, but more interested in television and video games than music. His group basically thinks they know what’s best for everybody and what programs everyone should be watching.
They were most recently in the news protesting the Victoria’s Secret special that was on. If Lieberman runs, I’ll do everything within my power to see that Bush gets re-elected. I don’t want the government telling me what I can and can’t watch.
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Jelly Donuts
Anyway, I caught the Fozzy show in Charlotte last night. For those of you that don’t know, Fozzy is a band fronted by WWF wrestler Chris Jericho. They do mostly covers of heavy metal classics. So we got to the club around 8. It was an all-ages show and they meant it. They had underage kids who were obviously WWF fans and people in their 30s like me who are classic metal fans. Some of the people in their 30s though were dressed like it was 1985. Even if I could still fit into my skin-tight snakeskin pants, I wouldn’t wear them today.
Sat at a table up in the balcony. I’m too old to be down on the floor anymore. But that didn’t stop me from having an obstructed view. People kept standing in front of me all night long. Once the show started I had a pretty good view.
The opening act was a band from South Carolina called Thread. They were pretty good if you’re into Creed type rock. The lead singer needs some work, though. His voice was great, but his moves were stiff on stage. He kind of danced like Elaine on Seinfeld. And his attire was very un-rockstar-like. They left the stage at about 9:45.
I went back downstairs and bought myself a Fozzy “We are huge rock stars” T-shirt. Fozzy took the stage at 10:30 and opened with a blistering version of Judas Priest’s “Freewheel Burning”. They did songs from their first CD like Twisted Sister’s Stay Hungry, Dio’s Stand up and Shout and Krokus’ Eat the Rich. And they did songs off the new CD like Accept’s Balls to the Wall. They also did some songs that aren’t on either CD like “Wrathchild” from Iron Maiden, “TNT” by ACDC, and Judas Priest’s “Breaking the Law”. I would say there were about a good 100 people in the club. Most of them up near the stage.
Halfway through the set WWF wrestlers Matt Hardy and Lita showed up. The fans, for the most part, left them alone or treated them with respect. You go Charlotte.
Of course, there was the one really drunk guy who was thrashing about like he was having a seizure, but he was “dancing”. He ended up knocking drinks out of people’s hands. He’s lucky he didn’t get the crap beaten out of him.
During a break in the act, one of the guitarists says “jelly donuts” for no apparent reason. That became a running gag for the rest of the night. At points, even the crowd was chanting “JEL-LY DO-NUTS”.
They closed out with Motley Crue’s “Livewire” at which point a mosh pit was formed in which their pig-like mascot Arthur started moshing too. They came back for an encore and did one of their originals “To Kill a Stranger” and then closed everything with the best version of the Scorpion’s “Rock You Like a Hurricane” I’ve ever heard. During that entire song, Matt Hardy kept making gestures like the wrestler named The Hurricane. WWF fans will get that and think that’s funny.
We didn’t stick around to try to get autographs or anything because it was midnight and I had to work today. But I did buy the new CD on the way out from Arthur himself. I may have gotten some of the song orders screwed up, but I’m doing this off the top of my head. It was a kick-ass show. I felt like it was 1985 again. I was banging my head and pumping my fist all night. This is how rock shows should be. If you get the rare opportunity to go see Fozzy in your town, don’t pass up the chance. You can check out their website at FozzyRock.com.