TheTrenchcoat Chronicles

Category: Entertainment

  • Video Game Violence 2005

    Video Game Violence 2005

    Violent game furor:

    Here we go again, folks. Last year, it was GTA: San Andreas. This year it’s a new game made by Eidos called “25 to Life”. This is the first I’ve heard about this game, so let me quote the article…

    “25 to Life,” allows players to attack police with an arsenal of Molotov cocktails, broken bottles and baseball bats. When weapons fail, players make strategic moves using civilians as human shields.

    The game even lets players choose gang colors and create personalized graffiti tags.

    It sounds like a GTA rip off to me. I bet the gameplay will suck. But of course, that’s not the point here. Certain lawmakers have their panties in a wad…

    “It’s the worst in a series of violent and gruesome games that lower the common denominator of decency,” said Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), who is trying to block the game from hitting stores in September.

    “25 to Life” makes “other controversial games like ‘Grand Theft Auto’ look like ‘Romper Room,’” Schumer said.

    Schumer called on PlayStation manufacturer Sony and Xbox maker Microsoft to cancel their licensing agreements with Eidos. The senator also urged stores and retailers not to stock the game.

    Patrick Lynch, president of the Patrolman’s Benevolent Association, slammed “25 to Life” for its cavalier treatment of murder.

    “It’s outrageous that a company like this would try to desensitize our children,” Lynch said.

    First off, have you noticed that when a politician is usually involved in calling for the censoring of a video game, it’s usually a Democrat?

    Secondly, these are obviously people who have never held a game controller in their life, or at least not since Space Invaders or the Atari 2600.

    Not all video games are aimed towards children anymore, and haven’t been since the dawn of Mortal Kombat back in the early ’90s.

    Lastly, the bigger a deal you make out of these games, the more hype you’re giving them. You’re taking what looks like to be a mediocre game at best, and you’re potentially making it a blockbuster by trying to censor it. People always want what they can’t have.

    If this game ends up in the hands of children, it’s because of irresponsible parents, and I have yet to hear any kind of blame falling on them. Remember kids, censorship is the solution to bad parenting. Or so says the Democrats.

  • A Questionable Comic Indeed

    A Questionable Comic Indeed

    A few months ago I told you about my favorite comic book hero, The Question.

    At the time, I lamented the fact that The Question went from a man who swore never to kill to a sociopathic killing machine.

    This past Saturday, I picked up the final issue in the limited six-issue run of the series. I was more than disappointed. Now he’s a magical sociopathic killing machine.

    In the last frame of issue #5, he’s in a port-o-john at a construction site, surrounded by gun-toting evildoers. The evildoers want to make faceless Swiss cheese out of him and shoot up the port-o-john. Of course, when they open the door, The Question isn’t in there.

    Did he pull some kind of ninja-like maneuver to evade the evildoers’ bullets? Hell no. He just casually strolled out undetected by said evildoers. So he either now has the ability to turn invisible or he has the power to cloud men’s minds. Kind of like…oh I don’t know…THE SHADOW!!!

    Then, to make matters worse, while the gun-toting evildoers were trying to figure out where he went he was whispering in their ears telling them what to do, then they would do it. So now is he not only ripping off The Shadow, he’s also learned in the ways of The Force. With no explanation about how he came to have these powers.

    It would be like reading Batman and all of a sudden, for no reason, he can turn into an actual bat. Throughout the series, they hinted that he had some kind of Shamanistic abilities, which I can kind of forgive, but to have full-blown powers just ruins the character.

    It’s like Superman said before throwing The Question out of Metropolis, “You have the stink of magic on you”.

  • Blaming the music begins

    Blaming the music begins

    Violence-themed rap promoter denies role in inspiring Red Lake shootings:

    (Log in info) Ok. I’ll admit that it looks like I missed the boat on this development out of Red Lake. It turns out that Jeff Weise did, in fact, listen to rap. Specifically, two rappers named Mars and Prozak. This is ironic considering that Jeff Weise would pick fights with people who listened to rap and posted on Nazi message boards about his hatred of people who listen to rap. So not only was he a bully and a racist but he was also a hypocrite.

    Of course, some media outlets are trying to draw a link between the shooting and the rapper Mars. According to the article, Mars belongs to a genre of rap called Horrorcore. Now I’m not an authority on rap, but I guess Horrorcore is the rap equivalent of death metal.

    All I can say is, here we go again. In the 80s, they blamed suicide on metal. In the 90s they blamed gang violence on rap and Columbine on Rammstein and Marilyn Manson.

    Now, unfortunately, some people are trying to pin the blame on Mars. Mars himself has, in my opinion, handled himself admirably well by distancing himself from the situation responsibly and intelligently…

    “I write a lot of crazy lyrics, but there’s something wrong about anyone who blurs the line between reality and entertainment,” said a San Francisco-based rapper who calls himself Mars. “Maybe it inspired him, but no one knows what was going on in Jeff Weise’s mind.”

    “A lot of people who post on my website are a bunch of crazy kids,” he said. “They write about suicide, murder, guns. But to get to a place where you do something, you have to be kind of crazy, pretty warped as a person.”

    Mars doesn’t believe his music shares any responsibility for Weise’s actions. “Stuff like this is going to happen,” he said. “My responsibility as an artist is not to change my lyrics to something soft and poppy. What about teachers, principals, and parents? They had some responsibility, and they’re the ones who could have saved this kid.”

    Michigan rapper Prozak had similar words to say…

    “Yes, it is extremely violent, but you can go to Blockbuster and rent a comedy or a musical or an extremely violent horror film,” he told Newhouse News Service. “You can find violence everywhere, but every time there’s a tragedy involving a teen, it becomes a witch hunt against rap.”

    I disagree that it becomes a witch hunt against rap, but it usually does become a witch hunt against some form of music.

    Of course, we have some busybody group that disagrees…

    That misses the point, said David Walsh, who heads the Minneapolis-based National Institute on Media and the Family.

    “No, he’s not responsible for what this kid did, but it’s disingenuous to say that, when one of his goals while performing is to alter his listeners’ mood,” Walsh said. “When you take a vulnerable kid like Jeffrey Weise who already was a walking list of risk factors and then immerses himself in violent media, it’s literally stoking a fire.”

    Consumption of violent media doesn’t directly “cause” violent actions such as school shootings, Walsh said, “but we know that media affect kids by amplifying feelings that are already there.

    “Violent visual media does create aggression, while music is more an amplifier than a creator for angry kids.”

    This guy kills me. In one breath, he says Mars isn’t responsible, but in the next, he says he was “stoking a fire”. So what are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to eliminate all images and references of violence from our society? In that case, you better get ready to ban the news, history books, and the Bible.

    Again, it’s good to see Mars and Prozak taking the high road on the ridiculous accusations, unlike another alleged “rapper” that I can think of.

  • Interview with a Metal god

    Interview with a Metal god

    This is a great interview with the god of all things metal, Ronnie James Dio. He talks about the possibility of Magica II and the next Hear ‘N Aid. Be careful, though. Some of the other things on the site are not safe for work (NSFW). So if you’re in the comfort of your own home, then go there now, heathen dogs.

    All hail his name m/

     

  • GTA: Grand Theft Assclown IV

    GTA: Grand Theft Assclown IV

    Lawsuit: ‘Grand Theft Auto’ Led Teen to Kill:

    This one actually was in the news last week, but I forgot about until today. More on that later.

    Anyway, our favorite ambulance chaser, not John Edwards, is at it again. “Attorney” Jack Thompson is once again blaming the woes of society on one particular series of video games. He’s filed a lawsuit in Alabama against the game’s manufacturers and two stores that allegedly sold the games to an underage person. The person in question is Devin Moore, who shot two police officers and a dispatcher to death after being brought to the Fayette police station on suspicion of driving a stolen car.

    Of course, the video game series in question is the Grand Theft Auto series…

    The suit alleges Moore purchased “Grand Theft Auto III” at the Gamestop in Jasper and “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City” at the Jasper Wal-Mart when he was under 17. The games, which depict police killings and other acts of violence, are rated M, meaning they are appropriate for those 17 or older.

    Named in the suit are Wal-Mart Stores (search) and Gamestop along with Take-Two Interactive Software, the manufacturer of the games, and Sony Computer Entertainment, the maker of the PlayStation 2.

    Why did Thompson file the suit this time?

    At a December hearing, authorities said Devin Moore, when he was apprehended, told officers,”Life is a video game. You’ve got to die sometime.”

    And check out Thompson’s great reasoning for filing the suit…

    “What has happened in Alabama is that four companies participated in the training of Devin … to kill three men,” attorney Jack Thompson told The Tuscaloosa News, which reported the suit’s filing.

    Granted that Walmart and GameStop should not have been selling these games to an underage kid, but why were the parents allowing it into the house?

    My main point is though is that everyone is responsible for their own actions. This assclown Jack Thompson wants you to think that you’re not responsible for anything. These kids that kill who have happened to have played a violent video game are screwed up in the head in the first place. My guess is Jack Thompson is looking for an angle since he missed out on the McDonald’s hot coffee settlement. Either that or he’s just jealous he can’t beat any of the games. Seriously, what is this guy’s problem with video games?

    What made me think of this again was this interview Jack Thompson did with CBSNews.com. I almost posted this under the Tin Foil Hat category because of some of the things he says.

    He calls Entertainment Software Association President Doug Lowenstein, the Joseph Goebbels of the video game industry. He infers that the increase in school violence is caused by video games. Claims he predicted Columbine 8 days before it happened.

    I’ll start you off with a quote from Mr. Thompson from the interview…

    The heads of six major health care organizations testified before Congress that there are “hundreds” of studies that prove the link. All the video game industry has are studies paid for by them, which are geared to find the opposite result. Lawyers call such experts “whores.”

    Pot, I have the kettle holding for you on line 2.

    Read the interview to see what kind of nut job this shyster really is. If it were up to him, we’d blame everything from the war in Iraq to Paris Hilton’s Sidekick being hacked on Grand Theft Auto. This guy really needs to get a life.

    UPDATE: The guys from Penny Arcade have their own take on sue happy attorneys.

    Here’s another take on it from joystiq.com.

  • A Questionable Comic Book

    A Questionable Comic Book

    Back in the late 80s/early 90s, I was a comic book fan. My favorite comic that I would never miss and move heaven and earth to make sure I could get the next issue was The Question.

    Rather than get into a long, boring entry about the history of The Question, you can go here and here.

    My using the name TheTrenchcoat is 90% based on The Question. He was the ultimate comic book hero to me. He wore a trench coat and a fedora and wore a mask that made him look like he had no face.

    He used no weapons except for his fists and vowed never to kill anyone. (Take note of that, it becomes important later on ). Near the end of his run in the ’80s, The Question did kill someone out of necessity even though he didn’t want to.

    Imagine my joy when I found out that a new Question series was being planned. Yesterday, I finally picked it up, and I was a little disappointed in the new direction.

    Within the first few pages of the new series, he’s already killed two people. In the 4th issue of the 6 issue series, he pushed two evil henchmen in front of a moving subway. I must have missed something that happened to him between the time I stopped reading comics and now. Maybe one of my readers can help me out with that.

    Anyway, since the series is taking place in Metropolis I can’t see the big blue guy taking too kindly to a vigilante that kills. Now I have no problem with comic book heroes that kill, for example, The Punisher. However, that was one of the qualities that endeared me to The Question.

    Another more famous comic book character was based on The Question, and that was Rorschach from the legendary Watchmen series. In that series, Rorschach was crazier than a shit house rat and had no problem at all killing evildoers. It seems like to me that the creators of this new series are basing this more on Rorschach rather than The Question. If I wanted a Rorschach series, I’ll read Watchmen again.

    All in all, it’s not a bad series so far, it’s just not The Question I remember. It’s things like this that made me get out of comics in the first place.

  • Suikoden IV

    Suikoden IV

    One of the greatest pleasures in my life is when I get my hands on the latest installment of one of my favorite video game franchises. That happened this weekend when I picked up a copy of Suikoden IV.

    The Suikoden series is my second favorite series, only behind Final Fantasy. As a matter of fact, Suikoden II is my favorite video game of all time. That should tell you how great of a game it was. The fact that a copy of Suikoden II is going for upwards of $100 a pop on E-bay for a PSOne game should also tell you how good it was. Having said that, Suikoden IV was a little bit of a letdown.

    What Was Wrong: Suikoden IV was way too short. II took over 30 hours. III took over 40 hours. IV can legitimately be beaten in 20 hours. That’s too short for an RPG (Role Playing Game) for the PS2.

    In each of the Suikodens, the main goal is always to recruit 108 characters. Some are a little more challenging than others. The majority of the characters in IV were too easy to recruit. The majority of them, you just walk up to them and they join you.

    The cut scenes ended so abruptly it became an annoyance throughout the game. No fade to black, just END.

    The game takes place 100 years before the events of Suikoden I. If I didn’t look that up online, I would have never known. Nowhere in the game that I saw was that ever mentioned.

    They knocked down the members of your party from 6 to 4, which is ok, but if you’ve played previous Suikodens, you have to rethink your whole strategy now.

    In previous Suikodens, you could tell the combo moves just by putting the people in the same party. With IV, you have to guess which party members may have a combo move, then wait as they level up for their combo move to develop if they have one.

    Lastly and most importantly, there is no file transfer function. In Suikodens II and III, you could upload your saved game file from the previous game and unlock hidden parts of the game. No such feature in IV.

    Driving the ship in the game is very difficult at first. Like Game Informer magazine said, “it’s like driving a damp sweater”.

    IV was also too linear. III had diverging storylines with varying endings, which made for great replay value.

    Oh, and one last thing to the Konami developers. Please for the love of God, bring back the cooking mini-game. Suikoden fans know what I’m talking about.

    What Was Right: The graphics on IV are the best that have ever been on a Suikoden game. Very crisp and very fluid.

    The characters are more lifelike than they have been in previous Suikoden games.

    The nautical setting is one that I have not seen in an RPG, plus it makes me go around talking like a pirate, which annoys the wife. Finally, we have voiceovers in a Suikoden game.

    Lastly, having a massive ship as your expandable HQ was genius.

    Final Recommendation: At $40 only for the hardcore Suikoden fans. This should have been a $20 game.

  • Goodbye, Johnny

    Goodbye, Johnny

    Johnny Carson, late-night TV legend, dies at 79:

    Another one of the icons of my childhood passed away today. As we all know by now, Johnny Carson died today.

    When I was a kid, one of the biggest treats in the world was staying up late to watch The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. It meant either we didn’t have school the next day or we were getting away with staying up late.

    Not to mention, one of the funniest jokes I ever heard was from Johnny Carson. He was doing his Carnac bit and the answer was “Sis Boom Bah”. The question was, “What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?” I don’t think I ever laughed that hard in my entire life.

    My prayers and condolences go out to his family and friends.

  • The Guilty will be punished

    The Guilty will be punished

    Excuse me while I let my inner geek come out. Last night I watched the DVD of The Punisher. The reason I watched it was because I used to be a huge fan of The Punisher in the comic books.

    The Punisher was one of the heroes that I based my screen name on. I used to own his first appearance ever in a 1970s issue of Spider-Man and the first issue of his own series from back in the late ’80s. And as usual, with most comic book to movie translations, this movie blew goats.

    As a matter of fact, I know I’m committing comic book and movie heresy by saying this, but I actually liked the 1989 movie version of The Punisher with Dolph Lundgren better. I’ll even admit that I even own the 1989 version, and I’ll defend it to anyone who says the new version is better. I’ll even do a side by side comparison to prove my point.

    What sucked about both movies:
    First off, NO JIGSAW!!!! How can you have a true Punisher movie without Jigsaw? It’s like having a Batman without The Joker or Superman without Lex Luthor. It just shouldn’t be done.

    Secondly, both movies screwed up the way his family was killed. Frank Castle was a Vietnam vet whose family was killed in Central Park in New York when they got caught in the crossfire between two organized crime families.

    In the first movie, Frank Castle was a cop whose family was killed by a car bomb set by the Mafia. In the recent movie, Frank Castle was an ex-FBI agent whose family was killed in Puerto Rico after an organized crime boss’ son was killed during a bust led by Castle. Neither of which was remotely even close.

    The Actors:
    First off, we have Dolph Lundgren. Not the greatest actor in the world, I know, but look at him. When I first saw him with the black hair and leather jacket, to me, he looked like Frank Castle. The only problem was, Dolph didn’t wear the skull.

    Then, on the other hand, you have the man with the woman’s name, Mr. Patricia Arquette, Tom Jane. He looks like a cross between Christopher Lambert and Oswald from the Drew Carey Show. That is not meant as a compliment. Plus, he looks like he weighs about 90 lbs. He may have better clothes than Dolph, but he is not Frank Castle.

    The Movie:
    The 1989 movie may have been over the top cheesy, but it was non-stop from start to finish. The new film dragged on and on and on.

    If you’re going to make a Punisher movie, it needs to have non-stop killing. They made the Punisher too human in the new flick. Sorry, but I like my Punisher to be an emotionless killing machine.

    The Punisher doesn’t cry. In the first movie, Dolph cauterizes his wounds with a glowing hot knife. Tom Jane has to have a little stab wound sewn shut by Rebecca Romijn.

    The new movie takes place in Tampa. The Punisher is not from Florida, of all places.

    The Villain names were lame at best. Howard Saint? What kind of name is that without some kind of “saintly” gimmick to back it up. While it was one of the few characters in the new Punisher, I liked, what kind of name is Harry Heck?

    So, then you need someone big and mean who can take out The Punisher so you get wrestler Kevin Nash, shave his beard, give him a bleach blonde haircut, put him in a red and white striped shirt that makes him look like he should be in the French navy, and you call him “The Russian”? The original rumor was that Kevin Nash was going to play Tombstone, which would have been a lot cooler even though Tombstone was more of a Spider-Man villain.

    Granted that Dolph only fought generic Yakuza and Mafia types, but The Punisher didn’t always fight the super villains. He also fought everyday scum.

    The Closing Lines:
    This pretty much sums up the entire argument for me.

    From the 2004 version: Those who do evil to others – the killers, the rapists, psychos, sadists – you will come to know me well. Frank Castle is dead. Call me The Punisher.

    Is that corny as hell or what? Now let me give you one of the greatest movie lines ever…

    From The 1989 Version: I still talk to God sometimes, I ask him if what I’m doing is right or wrong, I’m still waiting for an answer, and until I get one, I’ll be waiting, watching, THE GUILTY WILL BE PUNISHED!

    How fucking cool is that?

    So all you movie elitists can kiss my ass because to me, Dolph Lundgren is Frank Castle.

    Geek mode off.

  • The 2004 Trenchie Awards

    The 2004 Trenchie Awards

    It’s the post that I look forward to all year long. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 4th annual Trenchie awards. The best and worst of my year, as voted for by me. Let’s get right to it.

    Best Move I’ve Seen This Year:
    Veronica Guerin. This movie about an Irish journalist is assassinated by drug dealers she wrote about in a series of stories moved me in a way that I’ve never been moved before. I was first made aware of the story by the song “Veronica Guerin” off the Savatage album “Wake of Magellan”. If you get a chance, check out both the movie and the CD.

    Worst Movie I’ve Seen This Year:
    There were a plethora of movies to choose from this year. There was the unspeakable 13th Child, which was supposed to be a horror movie about the legend of the Jersey Devil. I don’t know what that crap was, though.

    Then there was the British indie flick Blood about a girl who was genetically altered to have narcotic blood.

    But the winner/loser has to be Elephant. This movie about a Columbine-like school shooting has to be the most boring piece of crap I’ve ever seen. The critics creamed their jeans over this movie, calling its writer/director Gus Van Sant a genius. As usual, the critics are on crack. It was like having a tooth drilled with no Novocaine for 81 minutes.

    Best Album of the Year:
    This was tough. It was a pretty good year for music. There was Master of the Moon by the metal god that is Dio. There was also Inner Circle by Evergrey. However, this year’s winner took the title early and never let go. It was The Glorious Burden by Iced Earth. Their first album with new vocalist and one-time Judas Priest frontman Tim “Ripper” Owens. A themed album that dealt mostly with the history of war. This album is the definition of metal.

    Worst Album of the Year:
    The Neon God Part 1: The Rise by W.A.S.P. The first part of a concept album released by the lesser of the metal gods Blackie Lawless. While I am a huge fan of the first W.A.S.P. concept album The Crimson Idol, this one just doesn’t even come close. Made me not want to pick up Vol 2.

    Best TV Show of the Year:
    The winner and new champion is House, the medical drama on Fox. It knocked 24 out of the top spot, since season 3 of 24 was all over the map in terms of storyline. House is about a doctor who solves patients diagnoses that other doctors can’t discern. Did I mention that he hates people? My kind of doctor.

    Worst TV Show of the Year:
    I have to give dishonorable mention to The 4400. The concept of that show started out great about 4400 people who were returned to earth after being abducted by aliens through the past 7 decades and returning with no knowledge of them being gone or having aged a day. Then they all started getting SUPERPOWERS. I stopped watching at that point. But the winner/loser has to go to Stephen King’s Kingdom Hospital. This show was so painful to watch. Stephen King should just stick to books.

    Best Wrestling Moment of the Year:
    Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit winning their respective world titles at WrestleMania XX. It showed that popular world champions don’t have to be big, juiced out freaks. Sadly, from what I hear, we’re getting more huge juiced out freaks in the future from Vinny Mac.

    Worst Wrestling Moment of the Year: Apparently the WWE is very tightfisted about allowing people to post pics on the web. Bastards. Anyway, it has to be the Lita/Kane pregnancy angle. Not only was this possibly the worst storyline ever, it may also go down in history as the most offensive. Plus, it’s the angle that put old moon face himself Gene Snitsky on our TVs. That should be reason enough right there.

    Best Video Game of the Year:
    I know what you’re saying. What about Halo? What about San Andreas? I have one word for you. Baaaaaaaaaa. Front Mission 4 from Square-Enix was the most engrossing and addictive game I played all year. It’s a turn-based tactics style game where you battle evil in giant robots armed with giant machine guns, shotguns, and missiles.

    Honorable mention has to go to Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. A groundbreaking RPG. Instead of saving the world, the world has already been destroyed and you have to survive. My only complaint is that some of the levels are long and boring.

    Worst Video Game of the Year:
    Samurai Warriors by Koei. While Little Jay and I are big fans of the hack and slash Dynasty Warrior series, Samurai Warriors didn’t live up to its predecessors. The incredibly lousy camera angles totally ruined any chance of decent gameplay.

    Best Movie Line of the Year:
    From The Boondock Saints when Rocco fondles the passed out strippers breast. Connor MacManus says”What the fuck are you doing?” Rocco screams, “I’ll tip her”. I’m not doing it justice. See the movie.

    Biggest Dumbass of the Year:
    Bruce Friedrich of PETA, who compared the chickens KFC uses to the time in our country when blacks were used as slaves.

    Most Inane Political Agenda of the Year:
    Remember the woman who refused to have a C-section and ended up killing one of her babies that we lovingly refer to as Scarzilla. Well, at the time of her court appearances pro-death organizations like NOW, NARAL and the ACLU were saying that the prosecutors’ attempt to charge her with murder was somehow a conspiracy against abortion rights.

    Biggest Jackass Celebrity of the Year: My wife gave me the idea for this one. Everyone’s favorite skank ho, Britney Spears. Two marriages, one over in less than 24 hours. The other to a no-name dancer with no prenup while his ex-girlfriend was pregnant with his child. Going into gas station bathrooms in bare feet. And the list goes on and on. You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of the girl.

    That’s it for this year, kids. Have a safe Amateur night.