The 2006 Trenchie Awards

Back by popular demand, mostly from my wife again, I present to you the 2006 Trenchie Awards.

Best Movie: Clerks II. I went into this movie with low expectations, but I was extremely surprised by how good it was. I may even dare to say that it’s better than the original, but I know that’s heresy.

Worst Movie: Since Clerks II was basically the only movie I saw this year, I defer to my wife for this category, and she says that the worst movie of 2006 was a straight to video horror abomination called The Graveyard. When I asked what was wrong with the movie, she said, “Name it and that’s what’s wrong with it.”

Best Album: No album kicked as much ass this year as the self-titled album from Ripper Owen’s solo project Beyond Fear. Honorable mention goes to Dio’s Holy Diver Live.

Worst Album: You’d have to try really hard to have a worse album than the disappointing Operation: Mindcrime II by Queensryche. And Iron Maiden did. A Matter of Life and Death has no good songs whatsoever. It should be called A Matter of Suck and Blow.

Best TV Show: Heroes. It was the one show I made sure that I was home to watch. House had a few missable episodes. If you’re wondering why not 24, it’s because 24’s jersey has been retired to let others have a chance.

Worst TV Show: CSI. I got hooked on it last season due to my abandonment of Law & Order. Last season was interesting and kept me glued to my seat. This season was boring at best.

Best Wrestling Moment: I haven’t actually watched a lot of wrestling this year. I mostly only watch TNA. In my opinion, it’s the closest they can get to the original ECW. Anyway, the best moment of the year was when Kurt Angle came to TNA and headbutted Samoa Joe.

Worst Wrestling Moment: WWE’s continued defiling of Eddie Guererro’s corpse.

Best Videogame: Suikoden V. A little slow in starting, but once it got underway it had me hooked. The fishing minigame is addictive as hell. The best one since II.

Worst Videogame: Final Fantasy III. Not a horrible game, but as with most games, it didn’t live up to the hype and wasn’t worth the 15-year wait.

Dumbass of 2006: All the dumbasses that committed various crimes to get their hands on a PS3. Get a life, people.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2006: The Wrong Reverend Fred Phelps who in just one of his may asshatted statements of 2006 said after the Amish school shooting in Pennsylvania his “church” planned to protest the Amish girls’ funerals saying that the Amish “don’t serve God, they serve themselves.”

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2006: The skank party crew of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears. ‘Nuff said.

That’s it for 2006. I hope to see you here again next year for 2007.